I have done divorce hearings on the day that should be its opposite: Feb. 14, St. Valentine’s Day. The irony does not escape my clients. I am sure they will always recall the DATE of their divorce and find the holiday bittersweet as a result. The truth is that this holiday can be trying for people who are divorcing, breaking up or newly divorced. The following are tips to make the most of the day despite this challenge. Continue reading “How to Enjoy Valentine’s Day as a Newly Single or Divorced Person”
If a person is considering filing for divorce at the end of the year, there are a lot of things at stake, and sometimes a person can end up spinning in circles deciding whether to file this year or next.
I always tell my clients that they should live their life first and consider the legal strategies second. This is because it is often difficult to predict how a strategic legal choice will play out in the long run. On the other hand, if you are making long-term choices authentically based on your own values and goals, then the legal decisions will automatically fall into place based on the things that are truly most important to you.
And if you’re living life the way you truly want to live it (rather than trying to manipulate everything you do just for a legal result), you will be able to handle the stress of the legal situation in a much calmer and more natural way. This helps the case more than you can imagine.
I have also observed the people are not as good at legal tricks and manipulations as they think they are. People who spend a lot of energy hiding money or trying to pull a fast one usually would’ve done better if they had just buckled down and did the fact-finding work and followed the rules. They waste energy trying to trick everyone, and it usually does not turn out the way they planned.
With that in mind, here are things that you can consider when deciding whether to file for divorce at the end of one year or at the beginning of the next. Continue reading “What to Consider About Filing for Divorce at the End of the Year”
Over the river and through the woods takes on a new meaning when a judge must decide whether to grandmother’s house you go.
Judges may cringe as the holidays approach, knowing parents will be rushing into court with “emergencies” involving out of state travel, pre-purchased plane tickets and disagreements over the interpretation of parenting plans. It is not unheard of for a judge to hold a phone conference or issue an order regarding whether a trip is allowed and where the children will spend their holiday time. But it is also common for judges to determine that this is not an appropriate “emergency” requiring a forthwith-emergency order. Married parents do not get to call in an officer of the court every time they cannot agree whether the children should visit dad’s parents or mom’s parents. It stands to reason that divorced parents, or those who formed a parenting plan after an allocation of parental responsibilities, should not be able to rush to court either.
The bottom line is that no one should want a judge to determine their holiday plans. I would like to say no one “wants this” rather than “no one SHOULD want this” but I have practiced long enough to know there are a few parents out there who relish in the drama of court proceedings and cannot wait for the next “emergency” battle. For those of us who do NOT think an emergency trip to court or mediation makes a good holiday tradition, the following are some tips to squash some of the drama before it happens. Continue reading “Shared Parenting: 10 Tips for Happy Holidays”
As families come together for the holidays, there is the false reality of TV commercials where everyone is bathed in a glowing light toasting their good fortune. Even friends and relations seem to have it together as they boast about their perfect lives on Facebook.
But then you really think about it and realize that when you think of the people you know best, you know that their lives and families aren’t actually “perfect.” Every couple and family has their own sets of issues and struggles unique to them, some more serious than others.
Maybe your family is fortunate to be close-knit, and you think you don’t know anyone with family law issues. However, the facts are that family law issues affect more than one in two families. So even if you don’t have those issues, you definitely do know someone else dealing with them.
If there is a family member or friend who comes to mind, because they’re going through a tough time with family law issues such as new divorce, separation, or won’t get to be with their children for Thanksgiving or other upcoming holidays, reach out. Make an extra space at your holiday table for that loved on and let them know they aren’t alone.
When it comes down to it, we all need family and friends to reach out at one time or another. Emotions and stress can run high during the holiday season, so there can be no better time to help that person in need. You never know how appreciated it can be and long-lasting your impact will be for that person.
Have a happy and safe Thanksgiving!