12 Steps of Divorce - Andersen Law-2For the next several months, the Andersen Law PC blog will spell out the 12 steps of divorce.

In doing so, we will also track two divorcing couples making their way through the process.

Spoiler alert: Art and Angela Aingel take the high road. While divorce is not usually a fun process (I have yet to hear someone tell the judge at final orders, “Thank you, sir, may I have another?”), the Aingels have a relatively straightforward experience before moving forward with their separate lives. Meanwhile, Draco and Desdemona DeVille make choices that, while initially tempting, detour them down a bad road laden with unnecessary drama, painful court appearances and skyrocketing costs.

The following is a roadmap of the 12 steps of a divorce proceeding as told through the stories of the Aingels and DeVilles. You can read a basic explanation of the steps of divorce here.

And if you want to discuss your specific situation, feel free to call me with. I am happy to walk you through your own next steps and to answer questions in your complimentary initial phone or videoconference consult.

Here is how we will cover the 12 steps of divorce:

1 – serving and filing a petition for dissolution

2 – responding to the petition

3 – sworn financial statement, disclosures, and parenting classes

4 – initial status conference

5 – discovery and depositions

6 – professionals: CFI, PRE, vocational evaluator, appraisals

7 – motions to compel and telephone conferences

8 – temporary orders

9 – mediation

10 – parenting plans and separation agreements

11 – witnesses, pretrial deadlines and permanent orders

12 – qualified domestic relations orders (QDROs) and other post-decree issues

Let’s begin!

Step 2 – Responding to the Petition for Dissolution

Former college buddies Art Aingel and Draco DeVille seemed to have less and less in common over the years — that is until they both found themselves on the receiving end of their respective wives’ divorce filings. Draco’s came first, so he was into the process sooner and had plenty of so-called “pointers” for his friend Art. 

The two met at the corner sports bar for wings and beer. Or, in the case of Draco, four Moscow Mules.   Art explained that he had agreed to waive service of process of his wife’s divorce papers. After receiving a request to do so from his soon-to-be-ex wife’s attorney, he met the attorney at her office, presented his driver’s license and, in front of the attorney’s legal assistant who was also a notary, signed for and received his copy of the summons and petition for dissolution of marriage. The only difference it made was that Art would receive the papers from the attorney instead of being served by a process server. It seemed to make practical sense.

“You fool!” Draco shouted. “I dodged service for three months, hiding out from the process servers. Showed her! Well, until I was called into court for intentionally avoiding service and had to pay her attorney fees. But still ….”

“Well, whatever you do, don’t hire an attorney,” Draco continued. “You can do this all yourself. Save a bundle. Or hire a mediator, which is the exact same as an attorney, but cheaper and, get this, represents both of you. Oh, and do not put in a response. Don’t have to! I just saved you about $199 in filing fees right there and all you have to do is buy the next round!”

Art was able to talk Draco into letting him drive home, the two of them returning to pick up the car in the morning. Fortunately, the next morning found Draco a quieter version of himself, a bit green in the gills, giving Art some time to think over Draco’s suggestion that he go the divorce process without legal help.

But Art did some of his own research online. This included visiting the Jefferson County Self Help Office where he received the form for a Response to Petition of Dissolution, which he could complete himself, forms for ominous sounding things like sworn financial statements and certificates of compliance. Art could not figure out why the court needed to delve into his private finances, but soon learned that this information was part of the process. Parties had to turn over this information to each other in order to calculate maintenance (sometimes known as spousal support or alimony), child support and division of property. Art had the feeling his wallet and bank accounts would be much lighter soon. He did not like the idea of paying an attorney on top of it. 

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